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About: Welcome to my photo-art-writing-music blog thing. All images, words and sounds contained herein are created by Heath Yonaites and copy-written © 2012 All RIghts Reserved unless otherwise noted.

If you enjoy what you see, read, and/or hear please feel free to say hello. If you hate this blog don't tell me, I'd prefer to live in ignorance and assume I'm still an okay guy. Thank you.
Born in the summer of 1883, Heath Yonaites was a rare virgin birth to a young Inuit dog-sled builder. Tragically, a month later the Indonesian island of Krakatoa erupted, plunging the planet into an unstable and cold weather pattern. The tiny village where the infant Heath resided was hit with a super-blizzard which flash froze his unattended body beneath several feet of snow. He was lost to his Mother. Nothing more is known of her.

Over 80 years later an iceberg with a baby on top was seen floating near Unalaska Island. Captain Kilgore St. Jupiter of the Melba Toast Isles, of the schooner "Divorced Knuckle," was able to rescue the now unfrozen newborn from the iceberg and ferried him to shore in Anchorage. There Heath was purchased by a traveling fork salesman who quickly lost him in a poker game to a rival spoon salesman. This man, Zane Yonaites, raised Heath as a Zapotec Druid.

Much is unknown about his formative years but in the 1990s there is mention of Heath subbing on rhythm guitar at a Monsters Of Rock concert in Sheboygan, Wisconsin for the "nuclear" metal band Öpën Hämmër. Quickly allowing fame to go to his head, he burned out and traveled to Amsterdam. There he wrote a number of angry letters to the editor of the newspaper "De Staatskrant" and stole bicycles.

The early 2000s saw Heath as a champion thumb wrestler appearing on ESPN late night programing. His skyrocketing career was cut short when he suffered severe ligament damage while applying his trademark "over the top" move in a heated semi-final bout with Finn "Ger the Nail" McDonnagan. Heath never thumb wrestled again and now resides in the Sonoran desert where he is trying to train rabbits to hunt in packs.

-Who Is This Guy?-



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    I wonder where this door leads to.
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